Pain…. Courage….

PAIN.

AS A CHILD, you were with me.

Bumps, cuts

Toothaches

Headaches

Tummyaches

But Mom and Dad were always there to soothe my aches.

AS AN ADULT, you never left me.

Heartaches, disappointments

Frustrations, anger

Betrayal, broken promises

Mental anguish

Emotional outburst

Physical illness

But I am alone to battle these.

COURAGE.

I  NEED you to win over PAIN.

I need you to move on.

I need you to stay alive.

falling

Your smile –

What happened to its warmth?

Your skin –

When did the radiance fade?

Your lips –

How did it lose its luster?

Worries –

Are you the culprit?

Old age –

Are you approaching quickly? and quietly?

Or next life –

Are you near?

my bff (bookscape at home)

you have been with me

since i was a tiny creature

never left me and stayed for generations

even with my own children.

you educated me

molded me

kept me company

especially in moments of solitude.

 

you made me smile

(though sometimes let me shed buckets of tears).

you inspired me

squeezed my creative juices.

you never gave me heartaches

never lied (just told me as it is)

never talked back

never quarreled with me

never waged cold wars

never doubted me

never gave up on me!

you truly are my bff!

BOOKS, FRIENDS FOREVER

we will stay!

one blow

disappointment —

why does it happen?

despair —

how can this be?

head bowing

chest bursting 

tears rolling

spirit crushing.

fairy of fairness, where art thou?

lady of justice, why art thou in hiding?

king of integrity, arise from your sleepiness!

queen of chances, bury yourself to obscurity!

of old songs & timeless nostalgia

 

 

 

 

 

Old songs  

remind you of…

       your first crush

       your first flowers and chocolates

     your first love letter

      your first date

      your first kiss.

 

Old songs  

bring back memories of…

      unrequited crush

      love went awry

      hurting moments

      stinging frustrations

      heart-pricking events.

 

Old songs 

trigger flashback of…

      rainbow-colored days

      enchanting nights

      ecstatic times

      nirvanic happenings

      unforgettable bliss.

Old songs

never fail to touch…

      your mind

      your heart

     your life

     your being

      your soul.

Old songs… they never grow old.

I AM EVERYWHERE.

(For my dear friend, Shirely, and for relatives, friends and other people who have lost a loved one.)

 

Grieve not

Over my leaving.

 

Be happy for I am free.

 

I am everywhere.

 

See me anywhere.

 

I am in the garden

Where flowers bloom

To bring happiness all around.

 

I am in the rainbow

To say “hello” to sunshine

After the rain.

 

I am in the clouds

To serve as a cloak

From the scorching heat.

 

I am in the stars

To keep the night ablaze

Amidst the darkness.

 

I am in the moon

To lighten up

The ebony sky.

 

Hear me anytime.

 

I am in the music

To soothe weary souls

When the world seems to fall apart.

 

I am in the raindrops

To bring a song

When the air is enveloped in deafening silence.

 

Feel me always.

 

In the sunlight

To give warmth and life

When the shadows loom in your mourning.

 

In your tears

To refresh you

As you struggle for my loss.

 

In the touch of loving hands and arms

To comfort you

As you bid me dieu.

 

I am everywhere.

 

Grieve not

I have not left.

 

I am in your memory.

I am in your heart.

I am in your soul.

humans are we

we are human beings.

we have our

masks to cover our flaws

towers to protect our vulnerabilities

walls to keep us safe.

we

cannot cry our hearts out

dare not weep

are afraid to expose our weaknesses.

since as human beings

we have

terrifying memories that won’t fade

old wounds that cannot heal

skeletons that refuse to come out.

but we are human beings

we can

fight our own battles

weather our inner storms

stand proud after our falls.

we are human beings

we are capable of

believing in our strengths

loving our own true selves

hoping for God’s image to be revealed in our human forms.

A Love Etched in Time

(Winner of My Favorite Book Contest, Philippine Star

http://www.philstar.com/sunday-life/2013/09/08/1183271/love-etched-time)

8 September 2013

MANILA, Philippines – What makes a person love a book? Some get attracted to its story, no matter who the author is, while others are drawn to a particular author and read their books no matter what their books are about. Before Ever After, a book written by a Filipina author and published by an American publishing house, is one book I love because of the two — the author and the story.

The author

Ms. Samantha Sotto, the author, left the corporate world to be a full-time mom. She considers herself a “school bus driver” because she brings her kids to school every day. Before Ever After was born in a coffee shop while waiting for her son’s classes to end and was bought and published by Random House, after one school year of writing, months of rejection and a number of revisions. Sotto is the first Filipina to be represented by the American publishing company.

Sotto is an inspiration to budding writers. Not only is she a Filipino, she is one who has the guts and the talent to penetrate the international reading market. With creativity and persistence, her dream was fulfilled. We, Filipinos, are definitely proud of her achievement.

In one of her interviews, Sotto said that it is her hope that “her story will inspire others to pursue their own dreams.”

The story

Before Ever After is, foremost, a love story. But it’s not the cheesy or erotic kind since it is a potpourri of romance, selfless love, adventure, history, mystery, suspense and drama that makes me giggle like a teenager, excited (could not wait to read what’s going to happen next), laugh (Max’s humor is cute), melancholic (many times my eyes became wet), sympathetic (could not imagine what I would do if I were in their shoes), travel back in time (I felt like being transported into a historical world) and reflective (how difficult it is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time).

Reading this book is a milestone in my reading journey because I devoured it in five days, unlike other books that take me months.

Love

Basically, it is the love story of an unlikely couple — Max, a tourist guide and Shelley, an American living in London. Their affair blossoms during a tour of nine European cities — not the famous tourist spots but those filled with stories and etched in history. It takes place against a backdrop of exciting events and is woven with mystery and suspense. It is supposed to end with the death of Max, but that’s only half of the story. Max’s demise is only the beginning.

The ultimate test is Shelley’s willingness to take the risk for love, just to be with her loved one forever. So ideal. So romantic. This is quite unrealistic in today’s world where couples separate after five or seven years of marriage due to various reasons, usually because of infidelity and betrayal. Ideal and romantic as it may seem, I’m sure many would be in that category even in this age of divorce, annulment and separation.

Another highlight is the other type of love, the universal love of family, where a father desires to protect his children and loved ones. So Filipino. It is this “sense of family, protectiveness…” that haunts another character, Julien, during the Paris Commune. I could not help but shed tears when he finds his dear daughter, Isabelle, buried in mud because he failed her when she needed him most.

Very touching, too, is one’s love for her neighbor (God’s second commandment), immortalized in Isabelle sacrificing her own life so that a child, a Parisian just like her but one she did not even know, could live. So heroic. So Filipino –– it’s something we witness in times of calamity when unknown Filipino heroes die so that others may live.

Adventure and history

Who does not want an adventure, what more a travel adventure in Europe? The story transports the reader to France, Italy, Switzerland, Austria and Slovenia, but not to the usual places of interest but traverses off the beaten path and into the annals of history, places significant and memorable to Max –– this is why he names the tour package “The Slight Detour.”

The adventure starts in Paris where Max warns his group, “If you don’t think you can remember where we started from, you can purchase a baguette and leave a trail of bread crumbs.”

Gay Paris is so romantic and exciting but Sotto presents a serious side of it through the Paris Commune, which left me wondering how such a beautiful place could have a heartbreaking, bloody history. But it is comforting to know that this is where Max and Shelly’s heartwarming love affair begins.

The succeeding chapters will bring the reader to Versailles and Montmartre in France, Emmental Valley in Switzerland, the Scottish Monastery in Austria, Ljubljana in Slovenia, and Venice, Rome, the Vatican and Ercolano in Italy with much more adrenalin-pumping events creating friendships and conflicts between the lovers and the other members of the tour group.

Another beautiful place showcased in the book is our very own Boracay, described by Shelley as a place where God “hoarded beauty like a secret stash of chocolate. Boracay was His kitchen drawer.” What happens here is truly heart-stopping.

Mystery

Each chapter in this jewel of a book will leave one with more questions, taking the reader deeper into the mysterious unfolding of events, what with Max as a person shrouded in mystery itself.

Max’s character is an intricacy of personalities, making Shelley wonder who actually is the man that she married. Shelley describes him initially as “like a golden full-fat mozzarella stick fried in butter. Irresistible, unapologetic and off-limits.” But the reader will truly fall in love with him, a man who values love, family, friendship, loyalty and valor. His romantic streak pens these lines, “I want forever with you, Shelley. I want your days to be as long and endless as mine. I want to hear your voice next to me on the nights I fear to dream. I want you to choose me, to choose us, everyday, and always.” Any girl would swoon to read or hear this from the man she loves.

Every girl wants a love story etched in time, as Max and Shelley’s is. I believe mine is, too.

————

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Cold, Summer Night

(My first attempt at short story writing… This is one of my outputs – a short, short story – in the Creative Writing Class of Ms. Conchitina Cruz.)

His eyes stared at the dinner table – two vintage angel candleholders bought in a flea market in Florence. Oh, how she loves angels that she decided to collect them and housed these heavenly objects alongside her cherished Kahlil Gibran, Paulo Coehlo, Garbriel Garcia Marquez, F. Scott Fitzgerald paperbacks and hard-bound publications! Two Riedel Vitris champagne glasses purchased at Galeries Lafayette in Paris were standing proudly near the crystal vase of roses, tulips and mums that served as a centerpiece making the lifeless table come alive.

His nose reached the aroma of his favorite paella, which she perfected after God knows how many tries, with his mouth ready to devour the delectable and love-filled Spanish dish.

His ears caught the lyrics of their theme song, “I’ll never say goodbye. There are no reasons why. Our souls are so entwined. There is us, not you and I, ” as Nonoy Zuniga’s voice softly reverberated in the stillness of the night.

Until finally his eyes found her, sitting on a chair in her favorite part of the house, with her collection of angels and books surrounding her, eyes closed but he knew she was not sleeping, always waiting for him. He silently walked towards her, held her hand and explained, as he did a hundred times before, that he had an emergency operation and could not leave the hospital.

“Are you still mad at me?”  “No.”  “Do you still love me?”  “Yes.”

Suddenly, a jolt opened his eyes, his gaze searching longingly for her picture at the bedside table, his fingers tenderly touching the glass frame and lovingly caressing her face…

Until finally, his eyes caught a glimpse of an object, alone in its designated place on the black, antique Chinese cabinet situated near the wall facing the homely bed he used to share with her, the urn.

of storms and Bright days

(for friends and people who are experiencing storms in their lives… never lose HOPE.)

dark clouds looming

mind cluttering

vision fading

hands trembling

chest exploding

world crumbling.

Clear skies appeared

Thoughts enlightened

Eyes brightened

Palms steadied

Heart calmed

Universe praised!